Friday, September 23, 2011

I Like to Ride My Bicycle, Until I Find My Dream...or Julie Andrews.

When riding my bike, no matter where on earth I am, I find it best to imitate Julie Andrews from The Sound of Music (you know that scene where she's riding with those naughty, but musical kids down the road in Austria?) and sing as loudly as possible.
This is the road I ride, everyday:

See those baby mountains in the distance?  That's where I'm headed.  When I reach them, I plan leaving the Nazis behind and walking over them to freedom.  I'll belt out, "CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN! FORD EVERY STREAM!  FOLLOW EVERY BYWAY, 'TIL YOU FIND YOUR DREAM!!" (Even though I wouldn't classify those hills as mountains, the effect would still be stunning, I can assure you.)

But back to the riding...the road's grade looks something like this:
However, to my butt and legs, it feels something like this:

I haven't made it to the mountains yet because, besides the Nazis, children following me wearing drapes, and the steep road, there are other perils along the way:

Apparently, dinosaurs on skateboards ride this road too.  Big, BIG dinosaurs that could eat me right up, or run me over on their skateboards...either way, I'm terrified.  

However, to the right is this vineyard:  

I suppose I could take cover should dinosaurs attack.  Unless they decide that a fruity snack would taste good with their feminist Mormon housewife...then I'd just be dinner.  

I have big aspirations of riding as fast as lightening down the super cool padded biker shorts...with those clippy shoes that well, clip onto the pedals. Over my diaper shorts, I'll have donned a traveling cloak (as soon as I can find out where to order one) and I'll look like a cross between Lance Armstrong and Julie Andrews.  My little strudels and Mountain Man will be in tow.  When we reach the other side, we'll start a singing group.

I bet the dinosaurs would buy tickets.

What do you think about while exercising?


  1. Hahaha. Love the skateboarding dinosaur. Personally, I don't go for the Sound of Music. I have a folding bike, so for me it's more like the Transformers theme song. Sometimes Indiana Jones too. Seems like a folding bike is something Harrison Ford might go for, and he was on the run from the Nazis in at least a couple of those movies...I can't remember the most recent one too well though.

  2. Oooo Transformer bikes are waaaayyy cooler than Julie Andrews. Deep bow to you, Chris...:)

  3. It must be Sound of Music day! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie. I was singing "I am 15 going on 16..." in the shower today. Would that it were true!

    When I exercise my Monkey Brain goes all crazy. I think about everything from the next blog I will write to the cleavage of the sweaty lady to my left to Buddy The Christmas Elf.

    I love that you sing as you bike. I rarely stop singing. It's a tick. :)

  4. Crystal, I;m sure that if we were in the same town or even ward, we would be dubbed the singing wonder twins. I frequently narrate my life and other's lives in song...while it's far from annoying to me, I think most others find it odd...but I don't care. :)