Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Drama Queen

My friend (nickname Lover) says I'm dramatic.

She's right.

Once, on a camping trip with our two families, my daughter had set up her drawing easel in the middle of the path to the bathroom.  I made a comment like, "Nona, move that before someone trips over it and dies."  Lover stopped in her tracks right there and said, "Nona, no one is going to die--even if they tripped over your art stuff, they would just fall down, and NOT die.  Your mom has a tendency to the dramatic, so when you need a reality check, call me and I'll tell you the truth."

Lover pulls me back from the brink on a regular basis. Unfortunately, we don't live near one another and from time to time I could really use her truthful and kind logic instead of wallow in the crazy scenarios that roll around in my head.

You see, I am a drama queen.  I don't stir up drama, in fact, I don't like that AT ALL. However, I frequently envision the most dramatic outcome possible for any situation I may be in.  Strong wind?  Tornado.  Scratch?  Tetanus.  Car problems?  It's probably a Transformer--no, not the kind that kind that manages an electrical current, but a large alien robot that lives in disguise as a really cool car and who fights the evil Decepticons.

See?  Drama Queen.
My thoughts may go something like this:

Drama Me:  I have a tumor.

Logic Me:  (Said in my best Arnold impersonation,) It's not a tumor.

Drama Me:  Really, it is.

Logic Me:  You have NO symptoms.

Drama Me:  That may be true, but my eyelid has been twitching for three weeks, and I am sure this is the symptom of a serious brain tumor.

Logic Me:  Before you jump to conclusions, perhaps you should try putting on the glasses that you never wear and see if that helps before you run off to the brain surgeon man.

Drama Me:  Shut up.  I refuse to listen to you.  I'm going to die!!!  This is simply the first symptom.  The next will be a headache, followed by me being able to move objects with my mind.  I'll come up with a cure for diseases, as well as be able to read entire books really fast, then I'll  create a way to grow gigantic zucchini in my garden, I'll fall in love with Kyra Sedgewick and she'll make these groovy twig chairs which I'll buy on the sly to support her...wait.
That's the plot to Phenomenon.

Logic Me:  See, you're nuts.

Drama Me:  Duh.  Have we just met??

Logic Me:  Go to bed, your eye will stop twitching when you're rested.

Drama Me:  ...Hmph...unless I wake up dead.

Crazy, I know.  But I'm so used to this type of rolling dialogue, that it's kind of comforting now.  The best part is, my kids have their father's non-dramatic temperament and that's a good thing.

After all, there can only be one queen.


  1. Long live the Queen! :) You are in good company. I have conversations like that with myself all the time. Well, not exactly like that (I've never seen/read "Phenomenon"), but pretty dang close. :)

  2. Oh my, move over on that throne, reading that post was like being inside my own head. I have never just caught a cold, it's always the first stages of pneumonia. I'm going to the dr tomorrow for what is probably a sinus infection, says my dear husband, what do I think ...? Don't ask.

    Why do we do this to ourselves? It's nice to have a calm, pragmatic husband to take my finger off the panic button.