Friday, February 17, 2012

Apocalyptic Weaponry

I was recently told about a TV show all about people who prepare the end of the world.  They hoard food, fuel and apparently, weapons.

We don't watch a lot of TV around the Square Toothed/Mountain Man village--well, that's not really true, we watch a lot of Netflix, but it doesn't have commercials so in my little twisty way I don't really count that as "TV."  Justification much?

Annnnnyyway, this show got me thinking about our end of the world plan.  It goes something like this:  We see a big mushroom cloud and I yell, "Run toward the light!!!"

I actually think this is an inspired plan.

I have no desire to rush to a "bug-out" location, live off of boiled wheat and baking powder, or even use apocalyptic weaponry (which, just in case you are wondering, is a bow and arrow made of p.v.c pipe and duct tape) until society gets back on its feet.

Seriously, what are you preparing for, doomsday preppers?

Society, as we know it, will be gone.  Infrastructure will be non-existent.  Water supplies will be compromised, and rogue bands of hoodlums will roam the streets looting and creating a gang state.  Who wants to "survive" in that?  Running towards the mushroom cloud makes much more sense to me.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about preparing what I can in case of an emergency.  I've done the odd home fire drill and I have homeowner's insurance too.  Heck, I even have a three month's supply of toilet paper--because you never know when zombies might attack and make leaving the house to get more an impossibility.

However, it seems to me like all this preparing for the end of time does nothing but elevate worry and just suck the joy out of everyday living.  Moderation, ya know?

Anyway, I'm not really interested in apocalyptic weaponry...although, Mountain Man's ears perked right up at the mention of it.  I gave him the fire poker and told him to get to work.  The idea of building fire made his eyes shine with joy.  He was pacified.

So, to all you doomsdayers, when the end comes, I promise not to raid your food stores, or shoot you with Mountain Man's p.v.c bow and arrow, but don't come asking to borrow my toilet paper.

How prepared are you for the end of the world?   

13 comments:

  1. I totally thought you were going to say the bow & arrows made out of a popsicle stick & Q-tips, like those you pinned on Pinterest :) And just so you know, I couldn't get them to work very well. Completely non-effective for doomsday prep...unless you want to clean your ears.

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    1. While the q-tip bow and arrows would be effective for end of the world ear cleaning, I also think they would not live up to the job of protecting us from the crazies. That's why we are just going to run towards Hanford. :)

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  2. Like you, I will run toward the cloud. What kind of life would be left around? Plus, I am ready to be in God's presence! That is way better than turning into a radio-active zombie.

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  3. I don't know that I'll be running toward the cloud or light, but I certainly will not be one of the "prepared" either. My logic has it that if I have, they will take and then kill me for having what they take. Better to just get it over with in the beginning. Perhaps I should run for the cloud.

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  4. Mushroom cloud sounds more appealing than a radioactive polluted world.

    Okay, I'm REALLY curious now...as LDS do you guys keep a year's supply of rations *just in case*? My hubs has actually looked into it just in case something happens less-than-Mushroom Cloud.

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    1. Lol! I agree, the mushroom cloud is WAY better than radioactivity, unless of course, I get to turn into Spider-woman, then I'd stick around.

      As for the year's supply. Yep. We do. I have mixed feelings on this however, but Mountain Man's upbringing was more orthodox than mine. He feels that if I ever slipped into a coma, it would give him a year before he had to go grocery shopping, but he hasn't yet realized he'd have to cook it.

      I think about our food storage more in terms of an opportunity. It's all dry goods like wheat and such, and once when Shiloh was out of work for an extended period it served as our mainstay. I also grew up in a house with wonderfully generous parents. On more than one occasion they were able to help someone in our neighborhood who didn't have enough to eat. I watched them fill up bags of food for people who were out of work, or who had just fallen on hard times. THAT is why I keep food storage. I could honestly care less about being prepared for the end of the world, but I've been grateful every time being able to help another if I can.
      And if the apocalypse comes and someone needs it, then they are welcome to it, we'll have a bbq in the shine of the radioactive cloud! :)

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    2. My best friend is LDS (the running joke is that I'm a Mormon Magnet which is cool) and her and her husand have been working on their food storage for the past year or more not really for the "end of times" but if the power goes out for an extended period of time.

      We live waaaay out in the country and if there isn't any electricty we will be in big trouble. I told my husband (who isn't a Magnet, hehe) about food storage and he's really interested in it and was amazed at the extent of the supplies available.

      Last year my BFF came over with a 45lb tub of whole wheat she got in Utah for me to mill my flour. Oh, baby!

      Your parents sound wonderful and I'm with you: if I had a good supply I would want to help others who need it.

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  5. The CDC came out with some guidance on what to do in the event of a zombie outbreak. I'm not kidding (it showed some great humor on their part).
    http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm

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    1. I testify to you that this is true!!! ;) You should all check this out, it could save a life!!!

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  6. This post made me squirm a bit. I am super low on food storage these days. I had my year supply (ish). Then the economy decided to SUCK and I had to live on it cuz money was in short supply. So it totally helped when I needed it but I'm SCREWED when the zombies come 'round. :)

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    1. Crystal, come up up to WA state, we'll take care of you when the zombie attack comes. :) Mountain Man can help us live off the fat of the land--we can roast possum by moonlight! ;)

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