Monday, April 2, 2012

Know the Signs: Bedtime

Bedtime, sweet, sweet bedtime.  Knowing the signs of bedtime are important so you can get enough sleep to properly operate heavy machinery at work, make executive decisions like how many paper clips to order for the office, and leave appropriately nasty passive aggressive notes for your co-workers who steal your yogurt.

Signs of bedtime include: fatigue, grogginess, double vision, hallucinations, excessive sweating and paranoia.
What?  You don't get paranoid before you go to bed?  I run around the house re-locking doors until about midnight when I am finally so tired I fall into bed with an already sleeping Mountain Man.  He recently read an article that said that if you think too much before bed then your brain gets hot and he claims that's why I can't sleep because I am mentally preparing for the inevitable zombie attack that is sure to come in 2012.

He said that if I wore a cooling hat that my brain wouldn't get hot and then I'd be able to drift off into a peaceful dreamland and sleep until morning, uninterrupted and restful.
Yeah, right.
Doesn't he know that the zombies are at the door??  And he is soooooooo not going to be helpful when they actually begin breaking windows because I would have an easier time waking the recently dead than Mountain Man who sleeps with the clean conscience of a newborn babe.

I'm just not a sleeper.  I wish I were.  Then maybe I could rest peaceful from dusk to dawn...or at least from midnight to 5am.

How do you know when it's bedtime? 

42 comments:

  1. Ack, I am the worst sleeper too because I think too much before bed. I need a cooling hat. Stat.

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    1. The cooling hat place should give us a 2 for one deal...

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  2. Bedtime is my favorite time of the day! Yea for bedtime!!

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    1. You clearly have a clean conscience...maybe that's my problem! ;)

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  3. I used to have insomnia so bedtime and I are still not on great speaking terms.

    Happy A-Z blogging!

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    1. I hear ya! I've never loved to hate something more than bedtime...thanks for stopping by!

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  4. When the zombie hordes arrive, Mountain Man will wish he'd listened to you.

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    1. I know. And right before the undead feast, I will scream out, "I told you so!!!" ;)

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  5. Where do you find one of those cooling hats? :) I'd prefer to never have to sleep; I'm afraid I'll miss something even if it's just a great news story on FOX news or a great show or movie! :)

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    1. A true 24 hour day...I'd like that too!

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  6. I'm a creature of habit. Go to bed at 10 pm every nite.
    Karen

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  7. I know it is bedtime when the clock says 9:30 pm. then I start reading in bed, pray, and turn out the light.

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    1. Again, like Judy above, you have a clean conscience! Sweet dreams! ;)

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  8. I abhor having to sleep. I only do it out of necessity. I often go to bed before I'm tired and suffer for it. Very rarely do I sleep for 6-7 hours uninterrupted too. I sometimes wake half a dozen times during the night though that might be down to the six cats my wife and I own ;) When the zombies finally attack I'll make sure I'm at your house. It sounds like the safest place to be :)

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    1. You are totally welcome. Mountain Man is a complete waste while sleeping, but definitely the one you want with you when the zombies attack (hopefully in the morning). He is fully armed with guns, knives, ammo and bear spray should those pesky bears decide to throw their lot in with the zombies...ok, the hallucinations are beginning...time for bed. ;)

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  9. " I am mentally preparing for the inevitable zombie attack that is sure to come in 2012." is now my answer when my hubby asks why I can't sleep.

    I LOVED THIS POST!!! mostly because before I will ever admit it is bedtime I have to be hallucinating and paranoid. After all the zombies are just trying to make us think we are sleepy so we are easy prey...


    *~MAJK~*
    Safireblade.com
    A to Z Challenge

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    1. TOTALLY fooling us, I agree...and they will attack, of that I'm sure. :)

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  10. During the work week, I hit the sack promptly at 10:00 and most nights I'm asleep by 10:15. The weekend is another story altogether! :)

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    1. Pure conscience...lucky, lucky man. :)

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  11. Typical restful sleep for me is 5.5 hours. Rare is the time when I allow my mind to race before sleep. If I get an idea for a story, that obviously changes things.

    By the way, I sleep well and have no problem nodding off, even without locking my doors or closing the windows.

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    1. Ouch! A quick sleeper! You put us all to shame!

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  12. OK, first, I totally agree with you on the zombie thing. Second, I check the doors twice, get cozy in bed and then think, "Did I lock the doors?" so I get out of bed and check again.

    Now, you may not like this one (sorry!LOL). I actually saw something about the whole head cooling thing. They say cooling your head actually does work and is the secret to better sleep. I suck at sleeping, so I tried it. I have one of those mushy beany cold packs things that I keep in the freezer that you are supposed to put over your eyes when your sinuses are bugging you. i put it under the back of my neck/head and I hate to say it, but it helped.

    The wacky head freezing thing worked, which is good because I have to believe zombies would prefer heated brains opposed to chilled ones;)

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    1. Of course they like heated brains better!! ;) And I've heard about the cooling caps! I'm glad it actually worked for you--now I'm gonna get one, then I will finally be able to rest easy, you know, BEFORE the zombies come...

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  13. I've always thought it would be helpful to have a few more hours in the day. I'm a cranky witch without a good 7 hours.

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  14. Well, here's one piece of advice if' you're like me and wake at 3am -- don't get on line to check twitter. You'll be up until dawn. Or facebook. Anything backlit. A kindle is ok...:))

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    1. Never! I just stay in bed and panic...;)

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  15. When the wine is gone. That's when I go to bed.

    I completely agree with the MM -- too much thinking about real life things before bed is not a good thing. That's why I started inventing stories, so I could lull myself to sleep thinking about fake life things.

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  16. I have one word for you... CARDIO!
    Oh and double-tap...

    I got your back when the Zombie Apocalypse happens. ;)

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    1. Thanks, Sally. It's good to know we can be in the trenches together, and I am a cardio addict, maybe I need to step it up...

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  17. I never want to go to sleep until I exhibit some of those symptoms you describe. There is just too much to do and think about.
    For some reason, followers aren't showing up on many of the blogs I visit tonight (need to get the IT hubby involved), so I will be back to follow you tomorrow.
    Sleep tight--or at least try.

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    1. Thanks, Susan! Nice to meet you!!

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  18. I'm not always good in the sleep department either...light sleeper anyone? I really hate waking up and thinking that a zombie is standing next to my bed...eeek

    http://runningsurvivor.blogspot.com

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    1. Those darn zombies are sneaky, worrying about them is a 24 hour a day job...nice to meet you!!

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  19. It's bedtime when, even though I'm totally sober, I cannot stand up.

    I'd like to say 10:00 p.m. every night, but blogging usually gets in the way of that.

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  20. I am terrified of zombies too. I lock and re-lock the doors like a lunatic. I AM a bit of a lunatic when it comes to bedtime. I'm with ya, sister!

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    1. I think I may just be a lunatic....;)

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  21. I hope you get a good night's rest. Try not to worry about the zombies until they get here, if they do!

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  22. When I fall asleep on the couch, it is time to relocate (and gt changed if it is one of the fortunate evenings when I have drifted off holding a beverage in my hand!)

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