Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Know the Signs: Dislocation

When I was 12, I dislocated my knee cap during a school basketball game.  It was the freakiest thing I have every seen.  I was skipping down the court free as a bird when all of the sudden found myself staring up at the ceiling with my knee cap twisted to the side of my leg.  I was 12, so obviously, I had no idea what was happening, but neither did the teachers and coaches. Their reactions did nothing to further my confidence in adults as I believed (and still do) that most adults are actually zombies in disguise.

One teacher even laughed at my predicament, which confirms that she was a zombie getting ready to eat my partially detached limb, because who laughs at a 12 year old who has just dislocated their knee??
Others have told me that seeing a child in pain probably made her uncomfortable and her laughter was a way to release the obvious tension she felt, however, I am not convinced, especially as she wiped drool from her chin as she was comforting me.

Annnnnyway,  knowing the signs of dislocation are very, VERY important so you can avoid being in pain whenever possible, as physical pain is one of the most undesirable feelings a body can experience while in mortality.  Now, I'm not talking the kind of pain you feel after you've run, or done yoga, or eaten too much at Thanksgiving dinner, I'm talking about the kind of pain that (even as you think about it) takes your breath away and gives you that squiggily-jiggily-blehgy-sick feeling whenever it crosses your mind--kind of like the feeling one gets while preparing one's taxes, except not as bad.

Some of the signs of dislocation include: suddenly laying on the ground, writhing in pain, feeling your shoulder hanging loose from your torso, noticing that your thumb is at an odd angle compared to the rest of your body, and not being able to think, walk, act, speak or really do anything useful except scream and drool into a bucket.

Do yourself a favor, and follow my example: avoid dislocation all together and get yourself a scooter chair.  You'll be glad you did.

Have you ever dislocated something?


25 comments:

  1. I don't know, Lisa, I go through all those things on a regular basis - - especially the drooling into a bucket - - and I'm SURE nothing is dislocated

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    1. You never know! Sometimes those dislocations can sneak up on you! ;)

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  2. Nope, haven't dislocated anything. Sounds like a horrible experience. I tend to giggle when I'm frightened, but I don't think that would include someone who's writhing in pain.

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    1. Giggling while frightened is perfect understandable! I do that too...but laughing at a 12 year old...;)

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  3. thanks for the advice. I have not have anything dislocated, only occasionally my mind which probably doesn't count since I always seem to have my head straight after a while.

    um, what? no clue why I said that. sarcasm is so hard on a computer screen, don't you think?

    I enjoy reading your A-Z posts. have a sweet day.

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    1. I TOTALLY got your sarcasm...from one sarcastic to another, it was perfectly readable..:)
      Have a fabulous day!

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  4. Ummm, dislocated my finger playing volleyball! That's about it but I can't even imagine dislocating your knee cap; OUCH!
    Great D word!

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    1. I can't imagine dislocating a finger! You brave, brave woman! Somehow the knee isn't so bad because it's further away from my face....:)

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  5. This is actually solid advice, thankyou! I've never dislocated anything and will do my best to keep it that way.

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    1. I'm telling ya, the scooter chair is the only way...:)

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  6. I dislocated my knee during marching band practice. Upper leg turned-lower half didn't get the message. Result= massive train wreck pile up (injuring 2 other members) and me on the ground. Knee caps don't belong halfway down one's shin. That's just gross and uncalled for. Luckily, director knew what to do and popped that puppy back into place before the swelling started. I was in a brace the rest of the season, but thank heaven never needed surgery or anything.

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    1. Isn't it just gross? There is nothing that compares to that feeling of your knee sliding out...ack!! Scooter chair, where are you???!! :)

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  7. One of the main reasons I hang out with the hubs - he knows ALL the signs :)

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    1. Dr. Man is DEFINITELY the one you want with you!!!

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  8. I've only been dislocated emotionally and spiritually. The symptoms are much the same, however.

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  9. Dislocated shoulder= immediate gripping of elbow and hugging self. Looks like a bad halloween prank, with adequate screaming. No fun.

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    1. I've never dislocated my shoulder but I think that it would be far, far more painful than the knee simply because it's a bigger set of bones...oucH!!

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  10. LOVING your A to Z posts! They give me a laugh in an otherwise work-laden day. :)

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    1. Thanks, Mary! It's been fun writing under a "Know the Signs" confine...:)

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  11. My twelve year old daughter is headed out to basketball practice in a little while. I am going to go tell her to not SKIP down the court! You crack me up, but I did not dislocate anything!

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  12. I have never dislocated anything, but I have snapped all of the ligaments in my one knee - doing the simplest move in gymnastics, but landing with a straight leg. I went a year without ligaments, and then had surgery to replace them.

    Worst of all, it happened on April fools day, so no body believed me - despite the load pop and snap!

    These things happen so quickly.

    Dif-tor heh smusma

    - T'Laina (vibrant-oxymoron.blogspot.com)

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  13. sorry for your pain, but now you can write about it! i am sad to say i have never had an unpleasant story such as that to share...

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  14. I've never dislocated anything but did spend some claustrophobic trunk time in high school (sans swiss army). Lovin' your a - z posts and will be back for sure.

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  15. I dislocate my car keys all the fecking time.

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