Saturday, April 7, 2012

Know the Signs: Good Driving

Good drivers are as rare as good food is at McDonald's, so knowing when you are in the presence of one is crucial so you can trip them as they walk past you.

I myself, come from a long line of bad drivers, but naturally, I am the best driver I've ever met.  As everyone in the Northwest knows, the worst drivers come from Caldwell, Idaho where bad driving is just a way of life. For this reason I suggest that if you ever see an Idaho license plate beginning with "2C" that you run as fast as you can in the other direction before the car mows you down accidentally on purpose.  

Curiously, the signs of good driving are more about things you shouldn't do than things you should be doing (like paying attention to driving) because if you don't do the following, then you will be a good driver by default. 
  
Know the signs of good driving and:

DON'T...  
...update your Facebook status.
...gawk at strangers on the sidewalk.
...talk on your cell phone.
...put on makeup.
...change your clothes.
...fight with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife.
...shave your legs/back.
...driver faster than my mom.  
...run over people.

If you stick to the list you will be the best driver ever and probably get some kind of award from the police, which may include chocolate ice cream and a ride on the police horse. So, go for the gold, pay attention and know the signs.   

Are you a good driver? 

46 comments:

  1. I think there is something about those who live in huge expanses of land being terrible drivers.

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    1. That would explain Caldwell then...

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  2. Well, how fast does your mom drive?

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    1. Take any speed limit and add 20...there ya go, give us some latitude, doesn't it? :)

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  3. Hey,

    Based on your list, I'm a very good driver! I hardly ever change my clothes in the car while driving!

    How funny!

    Enjoy the A to Z Challenge, and happy Easter Weekend!

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    1. Me too, but from time to time I do gawk at strangers while shaving my back...;)

      Nice to meet you!

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    2. This comment reply actually made me crack up out loud and had Husband asking "What are you laughing at?" LOL!

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  4. Stopping by from A to Z. I second the question about how fast your mom drives. But if it were based on my mom, I'd be a terrible driver...

    But goodness, this post is fitting for me... I was almost in an accident yesterday, and I was being a good driver (according to your post), but the car that almost hit me was definitely going too fast.

    I live in LaLaLand (aka, Los Angeles), but I wish I could drive in huge expanses.

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    1. She drives like a bat out of hell, and nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. The worst thing I do when driving is flossing my teeth with one of those fancy blue tooth flossers! The best thing I did while driving was having a deep conversation about the people that wear lace on their heads with a friend and reading the bible to figure it all out. (she read)

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    1. As I am obsessed with teeth, flossing is definitely OK in my book!! :)

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  6. Great list! I don't drive. I tried to learn, but I was bad... even without doing any of the things on your list.

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    1. As long as you've got good public transport, and you can get from A to B! (Or A to Z this month...;)

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  7. I have to admit, I'm probably not a good driver. But I cannot imagine shaving my legs while DRIVING. That's just...weird. Great post and happy A-Z blogging.

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    1. I know. My kids came up with that item...:)

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  8. Seeing as I don't know how to drive, I can't really answer your question. But my mom definitely is!


    The Golden Eagle
    The Eagle's Aerial Perspective

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    1. Not driving is the way to go I think...if I only lived in a larger town then I could take the Metro!

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  9. since i can no longer change my clothes while driving to my tee time, i could claim to be a good driver - only one ticket in 40+ years and that was in, you guessed it, Idaho - i will admit i still like the bat out of hell speed limit i learned in montana, where the legal euphemism was "reasonable and prudent" - and i do hate cell phone talkee drivers to the point i would like to bash them

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    1. I would just like to mow them down in my car, but i know Karma would catch up with me. :) xoxo

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  10. HARRRR!!!!!!
    You're funny, Lisa. Next time I'm anywhere near Caldwell I will consider wearing a helmet.

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    1. You can swing by my parent's house and grab my "Caldwell helmet"...:)

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  11. I'm a really good driver. IF you ask my children they'll tell you I'm a bad driver (meaning cautious) so I think that means I'm a great driver!

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    1. I know you are a good driver, because I've been in your car, so there. Tell your kids THAT! :)

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  12. I am an excellent driver, but I. Can't even put makeup on standing still in a well lit bathroom without horns blaring!

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    1. Me too. As we are the proud owners of ONE bathroom, morning traffic jams are inevitable!

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  13. Must confess that both the hubs and I changed clothes in the car today - fortunately we were parked :)
    Our town has an abundance of those older folks with slow reflexes and rusty motor skills - it drives (ha!) me crazy when I'm out and about.

    I agree with Aunt Lynn though - Montana was a great place to drive!

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    1. I hope you were doing something fun in your car before you changed your clothes...:D Look, now I made you blush!! xo

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  14. What about flossing your teeth? I do that sometimes. Does it mean I'm a bad driver? Just visiting via the A to Z challenge.... from Up on Haliburton HIll.

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    1. No way!! Teeth are important, and flossing saves lives!! Floss, floss, floss away!!!
      Nice to meet you!

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  15. Being a drivers ed instructor this posting made my heart sing.

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    1. I aim to please...:) Nice to meet you!!

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  16. I love driving! I especially love driving through winding hills! I think I'm a good driver, but maybe you'd have to check with those who have been my passengers. Great posting as usual!

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    1. I love driving too! Thanks, Sharon!

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  17. I don't do any of those things. Does that make me a good driver?

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  18. Have to laugh as I changed my clothes a few times while driving on my way to work hahaha. Okay, so its not funny, but I can look back and laugh because I didn't cause an accident.

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    1. I'v changed my clothes too many a time while driving...shh, don't tell. ;)

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  19. Cute post! I don't do all these things but I'm still a pretty crap driver (have problem telling my right from my left) so I take the train more often than not.

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    1. The train is WAAAAYYYY better than driving anyway!

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  20. hah, great 'g' word...I would consider myself a very good driver. I've only had one speeding ticket and that was when I just got my license and never been in an accident.:)

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    1. That's more than I can say! Good record!!

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  21. I am positively the best driver I know! I only shave while driving once in a while, and I try to limit my FB status updates to under 30 miles per hour. It's the least I can do for fellow drivers. :-P

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    1. I know, me too. I only update my status while in reverse, it's the least I can do...:)

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  22. In addition to my blog, Aunt J-Me Says So!, I have also begun one on distracted driving, I am going to post a link to your post so others can learn from you. I am a very good driver...no one likes to ride with me because I drive so well. :-) I guess there's just no excitement in driving the speedlimit and not running yellow lights. Yay!

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    1. Jaimee, I wish this blog had a "like" button!!!

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  23. Lisa,
    I like your style. Fun posts with a point. I'm a new follower!

    The Write Soil
    1st Writes

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