Saturday, April 28, 2012

Know the Signs: Yoga

I love Yoga.  While I am built a bundt cake, yoga is the one "sport" I truly excel at.  To be quite honest, as much as I fall down, you'd think that yoga wouldn't do anything further than to provide numerous face planting opportunities while standing still, but I have uncanny balance, and extreme flexibility.  Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying this to brag--but rather because I'm the antithesis of "sporty", so to excel at one physical activity is as strange as snow in Florida, and so the occasion must be marked.

There are two types of Yogans, (Yogians? Yogers?  Yogurts?  Whatever--you know, people who do yoga.)
There are people, like me, who are pretty familiar with yoga, can do a lot of poses, possess a fair amount of technique and take the odd class, or who are even regularly committed to their slot at the Y.
Then there are those who live, breathe, channel, meditate, emulate, and reek of Yoga.  If you've ever attended a yoga class, you've probably met one or two.

The signs of extreme Yoga include:

  • Lean, long haired (the men too) defined rope-y muscle-y people who are Vegetarians.  However, only the vege part applies to me personally--like I said, I'm built more like a bundt cake, and I'm thinking that the reason is, is because if I were lean and rope-y I'd just walk around naked all the time.  As is stands right now, I'm hoping that the Burka will come into fashion where I live just so I don't have to think about what to wear anymore.
  • Extreme flexibility.  And I'm not talking about being able to touch your toes after a big meal.  Perhaps only a pictorial demonstration will do this justice:

I guess this position could come in handy if I ever needed to win a game of Twister.

Personally, I have NO DESIRE to see my bum from this angle--ever.

"Is that a bunion on my foot?"

This position could be useful if you ever needed to hide in a small space, like a refrigerator.  But wait...

"I found you!!!"

She may actually be a snake.  

I'm not sure I can appropriately comment here.

The family that bends together, stays together...or the get hauled in for questioning.

To be honest, sometimes I too get tired of washing my armpits with my hands...

Other signs that someone may be involved in extreme yoga may include reeking of incense, perpetual athlete's foot from repeated Hot Yoga sessions (Yoga done in a 130 degree heated room) and an inability to understand why you can't scratch your own back.
Knowing the signs of Yoga is important so you can avoid conversations that begin with , "In my yoga class today we did Adho Mukha Vrkasana..."  You want to save yourself from embarrassment before you respond with, "Well, I had a hot dog for lunch."  This will end the relationship with your yoga friend immediately.  In fact, the only way you could offend them more is by slipping on your fur coat, jumping in your HumVee while yelling, "Gotta run! I'm late for killing my cat!"

So, know the signs, burn some incense, and don't take picture of yourself doing yoga, or they may end up on this blog.

Do you consider yourself a yogi?


  1. I started doing yoga a couple of years ago and while I do enjoy it, I never have and never will attempt any of the poses you show here.

    1. I hear ya! I have no desire to be able to do them either!

  2. Lisa, Remember when I just about died in that HOT YOGA class ?
    I surely wish I was as limber as the people in your pictures!!
    Have a great weekend!

    1. I thought you were a gonner for sure! ;) And frankly, I STILL FEEL BAD that I made you come with me!!
      Sorry Mom!!!

  3. I've been practicing yoga since I was ten years old. I was practically raised on Eastern philosophy which is how I was introduced to yoga.

    Even though I've practiced yoga for sometime I never could contort my body into those positions on the pictures that you have posted.

    Some people are double and triple jointed which provides them with an advantage over single jointed beings. Idk- my limbs just never desired to go in those directions, I guess, lol!

    Yoga is wonderful. It is great for stamina, agility, longevity, etc. I have practiced meditation using yoga and for breathing!

    Do I consider myself to be a yogi - no, however, I have practice forms of yoga, and I appreciate the art form!!

    Great post, Lisa!

    1. I'm with you, Betty! I practice Yoga almost daily and I meditate every day. I love it. But I still don't consider myself a "Yogi" or even remotely able to do what is pictured above!! :)

  4. Hilarious! I enjoy Iyengar yoga but I'm neither double jointed nor obsessive-compulsive about I spend a fair amount of time in child's pose.

  5. My yoga skills are only as good as my wii fit says they are! Namaste.

  6. I enjoy yoga but haven't done it lately. Maybe it's time to get back to it...although not any of those poses.

    Oh, and that "being built like a bundt cake" line had me coughing water out all over my desk. Believe me, I hear you. :)

    1. Oh good!! Us bundt cakes love company! :)

  7. Yep, totally relate to being shaped like a bundt cake, though in my case I think it's a double. I've done yoga and enjoyed it, but it's been years. Thanks for the laugh today!

  8. Nope! Not me! In my youth I was extremely flexible. But now, after operations gone wring and with atrificial joints, I don't bend any more. And I hate it! I wanted to use caps on that last sentence. Simmer down. I'll just watch others. I've had my turn.

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