Wednesday, September 12, 2012

If a math teacher emails Lisa on Monday at 8 p.m., how long will it take her to post a snarky reply?

Yesterday, I received an email from my daughter's Geometry teacher about her progress report, and that she was announcing the new, interactive website for parents and students to go and experience all things math related.  

I've discussed a few times how much math makes my brain hurt.  You can read about that here.

Because I have so much math baggage, and the last place I want to be is at an interactive math website, here was the response I sent her: 


Dear Amazing Math Teacher,  
I hope you had a FABULOUS summer!  
I just wanted to communicate that I take great offense at being called a "geometry parent".  You can call me a "hot mama" (which would be weird), a "domestic goddess" (only when the house is perfectly clean and dinner is in the oven which is, like, never)  or even a "crazy loon" (probably the most appropriate) but to be called a "geometry parent" is just, well, insane.   
If ever, at any time, I gave you the impression that our daughter's remarkable math ability came from any of my genetics, I truly apologize.  The only traits she has inherited from me is that she uses her hands expressively while speaking, and she keeps a tidy room.  She can also make a mean chocolate chip cookie, but I think that has more to do with her grandmother than me.  
By calling me a "geometry parent" I hope that you don't expect me to do anything more than nod and smile at her if she brings up the words, "angle, protractor, compass, proof, or co-tangent" (Mountain Man had to explain to me what that last one was and all I heard was , "blah blah blah" for five minutes at which point I finally just ran from the room.) 
In addition, I would like to thank you for the information about the website so we can check our daughter's progress reports. I was very interested in the ability to set preferences on my child's account.  However, instead of a "send me an email if my kid is missing an assignment" preference, I would like to see a "send me an email when there is free chocolate cake in the school cafeteria for all parents of brilliant, sweet, kind and wonderful children."  I would find that much more beneficial, and I would even be willing to bring my own fork.  
Please feel free to forward this suggestion to the principal, the website administrator and the cafeteria lady, of course.  
Sincerely,  
Lisa


How do you feel about math? Being called a "geometry parent"? Free chocolate cake? 

courtesy of Google!

33 comments:

  1. First off - - she is taking GEOMETRY??!!! She's not old enough!

    Second, did you really send that letter? What? Of course you did, silly me. Oh, you just crack me up, Lisa dear! I would love to have seen her face when she read it!!

    P.S. If there ever IS chocolate cake, call me :)

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    1. I know! She's a smarty pants! She's in that accelerated stuff..and yes, yes I really did send it...:)

      And if I ever do get the alert on chocolate cake, I will DEFINITELY call you!! xo

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  2. That's the kind of thing that makes me glad I don't have kids. But we definitely need more chocolate cake alerts.

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  3. That is hilarious! Did you actually send it?

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    1. I did!! I just got a response back from her teacher (who is one of my favorite people) and she loved it...she also threatened to fail my daughter this year just so she could keep receiving my emails...:-)

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  4. Love it!! Too funny, I got yelled at my friend back in Vegas on the phone the other night in a similar tone to this letter when I started breaking things down in percentages. To which I was basically asked if I remembered who I called! She like you is one of the smartest most creative people I know and teaches classes at the University but as soon as you bring up math her head explodes!

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    1. We should form an anti-math club! It makes my head hurt!

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    2. I can be president!! Like how I elected myself? Judy, you bring the cake!!

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  5. Oh well. If everyone was good at math, then Casio would stop making calculators.

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    1. Thank you, Michael! Reason at last!! :)

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  6. Math is sneaky, it creeps up on you while you're not looking. I hates it in school but somehow ended up in a finance related job, completely by accident. Damned sneaky math!

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    1. You've got to watch yourself, Kellie!! Math will get you every time!! ;)

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  7. All I have to say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Omg, you're funny. You are, you know! A truly funny girl. :)

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    1. Thank you, my darling friend!!! xo!

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  8. Being the parent of Geometry seems like a very heavy burden... like being the mother of Nature.

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    1. ...or the father of Christmas...:)

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    2. I was looking for another example - can't believe I missed something so obvious :-)

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  9. Oh I love this! I may be inspired to embrace your techniques next time I get such an email from the schools. They already think I'm "off."

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    1. I say play up the crazy as much as you can, then the PTA asks you to do a lot less...:)

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  10. Hahaha! Love this! I'm all for the chocolate cake!

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  11. That's great writing. And now, since chocolate cake is my most favorite thing (and I'm always in search of the most perfect piece), I'll have to track some down today.

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    1. Let me know if you find it and I will bring my fork! :-)

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  12. Hahahaha!! I love that! It's a letter totally in my taste.

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  13. Well, as I have now moved on to Trigonometry parent, I am even more troubled, but the one that really gets me this year is Chemistry parent...I didn't even take chemistry (nor physics, and somehow the kid aced that last year)...will gladly hang with you...the chocolate cake parent!

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    1. I think there are waaaaaaay more chocolate cake parents than any other kind.

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  14. I love you. I love that you don't colour you hair. I love that you write out a letter like that and actually send it. And I love that you love chocolate cake (well who doesn't, but how many actually love themselves enough to have it?)
    Probably the best thing of signing up for the NaBloWriMo madness when I have no time to even breathe is the fact that I found your blog!

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  15. Awwwwww, Natasha! What love you share! I love you right back!!!

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  16. This *almost* makes me want to be a Geometry teacher, just so I can get letters like this from my students' parents!! (Except...math isn't my subject, either....)

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  17. I would send that reply. I used to write notes to my children's teachers and either illustrate them or cut them into fun shapes - like elephants or something appropriate to the note. My kids weren't so thrilled. But I have to do what I have to do. And so apparently do you!

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  18. Whoa! That comment from Anonymous (not Melody, if someone is reading this and it has already been done) above me needs removing!
    Anyway...I was hopping around on your blog and went to the If the Math Teacher emails...http://diaryofasquaretoothedgirl.blogspot.com/2012/09/if-math-teacher-emails-lisa-on-monday.html
    and had to leave a comment there, too! Following and looking forward to more!

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