Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Day 13 of Giving Thanks, or, Why I'm Grateful for Uncertainty & Change

Uncertainty kinda sucks.

It's like standing on a precipice with the wind howling all around and nothing to hold onto.
To put it simply, it's terrifying.

On the other hand, this season of uncertainty has taught me an important lesson:
To enjoy the moment.

This season of uncertainty and change has gifted me with keener sight.
Not knowing how long we will be in this small town, I seem to be drinking in the the glorious golds, reds and oranges of the season. I find myself stopping several times a day to just breathe them in.

This season of uncertainty and change has gifted me with deeper appreciation for the man I've chosen to spend my life with with.
I knew he was cool before, but now? Now I stand in awe of his integrity, kindness, humor, and love a little more steadfastly. We are like two trees, standing side by side, our roots sunk deep into the soil of the life we've chosen together.

This season of uncertainty and change has granted me a season of rest. Our lives feel like they've taken a full stop--something I've been referring to as "Mid-Life Retirement". It's been two months of waking up to a husband that was kind of a ghost in our house, with all the hours he worked. This time together has changed the idea of what we want our family to look like. Our conversation is no longer, "What's your dream job?" but, "What's your dream life?"
I fully realize not everyone can ask themselves that question, and I have no idea why we are able to, but it's a gift.

Most importantly, this season of uncertainty and change has made me realize just how unique, magnificent, painful, beautiful and transitory life actually is.
LIVING is change. LIFE is uncertain.
Agnes de Mille said it best:
"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark."
For me, life seems kind of dark right now, I just can't quite see the path even though I know it's there.
But I'm willing to leap...

...so here we go.



What are you grateful for today?

9 comments:

  1. Great post, Lisa. I think everyone should ask that question about their dream life - what do you want your life to look like? We might not be able to get exactly that but I bet we can get pretty close, at least in some areas. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It seems we are going through similar stages in our lives. I too am doing some re-assessing. I find myself asking those similar questions of, "What can I savor about this moment/day/week/strange time of transition. Thanks for your thoughtful posts. They make me feel I'm not alone in my state of limbo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hang in there, Joy...we can hang in there together! :)

      Delete
  3. i am grateful for Anita Moorjani's book because is has helped me see fear in a whole new light and to strengthen my faith in I AM by meditating more and also seeing the beauty in each experience - i keep thinking that a mustard seed is really very very small and yet that much faith can move mountains - I am also reminding myself of LET GO AND TRUST THE UNIVERSE - seem like in life i have had to review the same lessons over and over - faith is marvelous, but i must admit mine is tested often because i am a control freak, but i do know that i am learning the more I LET GO the easier life is

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. life is better when I let go too...xoxo

      Delete
  4. I am grateful for the people in my life...they make it less scary...most of the time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Sometimes those special people just make it so I have someone to grip as I go down screaming!!! ;)

      Delete
  5. You're a strong woman, finding thankfulness in uncertainty, but you're right.

    ReplyDelete