It's like standing on a precipice with the wind howling all around and nothing to hold onto.
To put it simply, it's terrifying.
On the other hand, this season of uncertainty has taught me an important lesson:
To enjoy the moment.
This season of uncertainty and change has gifted me with keener sight.
Not knowing how long we will be in this small town, I seem to be drinking in the the glorious golds, reds and oranges of the season. I find myself stopping several times a day to just breathe them in.
This season of uncertainty and change has gifted me with deeper appreciation for the man I've chosen to spend my life with with.
I knew he was cool before, but now? Now I stand in awe of his integrity, kindness, humor, and love a little more steadfastly. We are like two trees, standing side by side, our roots sunk deep into the soil of the life we've chosen together.
This season of uncertainty and change has granted me a season of rest. Our lives feel like they've taken a full stop--something I've been referring to as "Mid-Life Retirement". It's been two months of waking up to a husband that was kind of a ghost in our house, with all the hours he worked. This time together has changed the idea of what we want our family to look like. Our conversation is no longer, "What's your dream job?" but, "What's your dream life?"
I fully realize not everyone can ask themselves that question, and I have no idea why we are able to, but it's a gift.
Most importantly, this season of uncertainty and change has made me realize just how unique, magnificent, painful, beautiful and transitory life actually is.
LIVING is change. LIFE is uncertain.
Agnes de Mille said it best:
"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark."For me, life seems kind of dark right now, I just can't quite see the path even though I know it's there.
But I'm willing to leap...
...so here we go.
What are you grateful for today?