Saturday, December 1, 2012

What Happens If You Try To Run Over Me In Your Big Man Truck

I really REALLY love the Christmas season. I love autumn as well, but I've never been sad to see November fade away into the twinkling lights of December. It's like the very air changes. People are a little softer with each other.

Except for yesterday.
Yesterday, I was walking downtown when this driver in a HUGE truck and trailer parked his massive machine smack dab in the middle of a crosswalk just as I was about to step off the curb.

I stopped just to make sure he wasn't planning on running over me while I was trying to cross. As I walked past him, I kind of shrugged my shoulders as if to say, "What gives, dude? You're in the middle of the cross walk."

Mountain Man and I continued on our merry way when the driver rolled down his window and yelled, "Well, you shouldn't have been walking in the street!!"

Really, dude?
Clearly, this driver was uneducated in the way of crosswalks.

So I took it upon myself to educate him.
And to be fair, there were many ways I could have gone about this.  

  • I could have just refrained--said nothing, just smiled and made my way along to my destination. 
  • I could have even given him an apologetic shrug as is to say, "Oh well, I'm choosing to not engage with your brand of crazy-town."
  • I could have even turned around and just given him one of those death-stares that I inherited from my parents that says, "Shut. It. Now." without ever uttering a word. 
  • Using an even and rational tone, I could have explained the purpose of crosswalks and how to properly respect the boundaries of pedestrians.

But did I do this, friends?
Did I?

Hell. No.

I failed.


I turned right around in the middle of the block and using the breadth and depth of my vocal training and my genetics (loud and Greek) I let him have it.

Yes I did.

When I was done, he kind of looked at me all bewildered and then just drove away.
I don't think he's ever had a "lady" rip him a new one like I did.

But what can I say?
It was still November.

When have you failed miserably at interacting with fellow humans?


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT! I bow to your awesomeness and sincerely congratulate you on your courageous ability to carve a truck driver a new one!!!!!!!!!

    You, my dear Lisa, are my hero!!!!

    1. Hahahaaa!!! I felt bad all day...mostly because it's now December so I have to up my "nice" game. ;) xo!

  2. and what was Shiloh doing during this amazing explanation of the drivers intellect being confused with other parts of his anatomy? You are my kind of woman for sure!!! i am visualizing the mountain man quite smile myself

    1. That's EXACTLY what he was doing--quietly smiling. When I was done, I looked at him, shrugged my shoulders and said, "What?"