Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Yummy Moist Biscuits

Yummy Moist Biscuits.

Say it out loud now: YUMMY. MOIST. BISCUITS.

Terrifying, isn't it?

I loathe those three words more than any other in the English (or French) language(s) which I speak.

Why? You may ask?
Say them.
See?

Ew.

Yummy just sounds like gummy which makes me think of teeth--or better--the lack thereof. And most times, people associate the word 'yummy' with food which just makes me envision gaping gums and then I don't feel hungry at all. Which is strange, because shouldn't I be skinnier?

Moist is just wrong on every level. Nothing good was EVER moist--and if it IS good, then when explaining it, the speaker should pick up their thesaurus and look up a synonym for "moist" because all it reminds me of is a Vagisil commercial--annnnnnnd you're welcome.

Biscuit. My problem with biscuit is really threefold. The first fold being that I am an Idaho native. Because of this fact there are certain words I cannot say with any credibility. Artichoke, Daddy, and Pulchritude top the list. These words, (including biscuit) are best said with an English accent. And, to be frank, I'm still mad that my parents didn't raise me in England and make me have afternoon tea while I uttered the phrase, "Pass me that artichoke, Daddy. It's soooooo pulchritudinous!"

My second problem with the word biscuit is that I can't say it when see it. All I can see is the French pronunciation which is "bis-quee" which automatically make me think of Bisquick, and then I just want pancakes.

And my third issue with good old "biscuit": Seriously. Say it--if you have an annoying American accent you are probably throwing up in your mouth a little right now. I know you are grimmacing. When I say my face squintches up like I just smelled something foul. If yours doesn't you may need to get your ears checked because you might be suffering from hearing loss.

Either that, or you have water in your ears, which means that your ears are moist.
*wretches a little*  .....Yummy.

See? No one wins with yummy moist biscuits.

What about you? Which words would you have stricken from the English (or, what the hell) any other language?

24 comments:

  1. I don't have a problem with "yummy" or "biscuit". However, "moist" totally brings to mind (and maybe I'm just perverted) underwear. I know that sounds gross. As I typed it I thought "I shouldn't type this - it's gross." xoxo

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    1. You made my day, Judy!!!!! THAT is hilarious.....and true. Ew. :)

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  2. Now I will have to eat dry cake! Rats! Can you strike dumper from the list?

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  3. What if your cake was "juicy" instead of moist? Or spongey, damp, gooey or slushy?
    And 'dumper' consider it stricken!!

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  4. I love biscuits! I'm from the South where we LOVE our biscuits with butter, with butter and jell and my favorite: biscuits and gravy! YUMMY! LOL Yeah, the "M" word isn't great except to describe a cake, maybe? "that cake is so moist"! LOL maybe not! :) Great post; thanks for making me laugh!

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    1. Yummy moist biscuits: Lucious slushy cookies? ;)

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  5. I'm sooooooooo disappointed... and hungry. I thought for sure this would be a recipe for yummy, moist biscuits!!!

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  6. Speaking of words....I've been thinking a lot lately about words that have been hyjacked to mean something else or used in the wrong context. Just to name a few: sick, boss, beast, gay, retarded, love, God.

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    1. You said that like a boss--sick! ;)

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  7. Speaking of words....I've been thinking a lot lately about words that have been hyjacked to mean something else or used in the wrong context. Just to name a few: sick, boss, beast, gay, retarded, love, God.

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  8. The M word is definitely one I've removed from my vocabulary! Awful, awful word!

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    Replies
    1. ...and don't forget yummy...and biscuit. PLEASE PLEASE Kellie! Don't forget! :)

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  9. That bit about how you should have been raised in England? Right there with you. And I totally read you saying that in a British accent, by the way. (I mean, really, how else would it be?) :D

    Being in the South, I have to hear "biscuit" daily (as in Chick-Fil-A Chicken one), but I don't buy or make them myself and never do I utter the word. The M and Y words I don't think have ever been in my vocabulary. And it's rather extensive. I love this post- I feel like I've been validated for doing something right! LOL!

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    1. LONG LIVE THE BRITISH WANNABES!!!! :)

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  10. Shouldn't chicken be moist? What about moist towelettes? I'm not a fan of "panties." In general I am not a fan of words that also have a secondary naughty meaning. I always feel awkward saying them. Like, "Hey I'm off to Dick's Sports" could be interpreted so many ways!

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    1. I'm going to ere on the side of "slushy" chicken, and "damp" towelettes. And panties is gone!!

      As far as Dick's Sports....I couldn't agree more!!

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  11. Yummy moist banana bread? If banana bread is not moist, it is like eating saw dust.

    Biscuits? Love 'em, but they need to have some crunch on the top and bottom with flaky goodness within.

    It is all a matter of perspective, I guess.

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    1. I hear ya, Susan! And I'm sticking with squishy banana bread instead!! ;)

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  12. So when this post showed up in my blogroll, I initially thought it was a recipe... and then I thought, but wait, it's LISA. It's not a recipe. With the word "moist" it must be something OTHER than a recipe! Ha.

    Thanks for the chuckle. I'm with you on MOIST (I will now taunt you, I hope you realize), but yummy and biscuit are fine. Uvula is just gross. And pendulous is also gross, in a porn kind of way.

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    1. But have you ever made pendulous moist yummy biscuits? They are DIVINE! ;)
      Hee!

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  13. Yummy biscuits I can handle, moist biscuits ... ewwwwwww.
    To Aussies, biscuits are either what you would call cookies or slang for female buttocks. So you would be being pretty personal if you said that out loud in female company or you would have just duncked a cookie in your coffee. Either way you would be looked at like you had just stepped out of a space ship.
    My horror word is pustule. I just threw up a little typing that!

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