Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Joyride, A to Z: Understanding

One of my favorite quotes reads, "I speak out of my experience, and you listen out of yours, and THAT is why communication is difficult."

At the base of our communications is the desire to be understood.

Each of us want to be understood, and on some level, to understand others as well. Even if we say, "I don't care about them! I don't know why they do what they do!" The reason we are so bothered by another's behavior is that we want to understand what is causing the behavior--and often we even want to "fix" people's ideas to align with our view of the world.

But true understanding of another will lead us to allowing others to be exactly what they are--themselves. Desiring to "fix" someone else, or sway them to the "right" kind of thinking will only result in more misunderstanding and then frustration.

Our spirits are constantly seeking peace. When we feel negatively about another, our negative feelings are communicating to us that there is a gap in our connection to our Source.

Some may call this source, God, some the Universe--there's a million different names. I don't feel like the name we call God is all that important, but the importance of feeling understood and understanding our Source and then one another is something that our spirits long for.

We often think that this elusive peace will only come when ALL THE WORLD *(twirls mustache here) agrees with our line of thinking--but there is nothing further from the truth than that idea.

Contrast is an interesting concept. Contrast in artwork gives depth to a piece--darkness illuminates light. Now before you go thinking that, "Of course, MY world view is the light and all others are darkness!!" Ask yourself this question instead: Why are there so many different kinds of people here? 

Contrast in humans gives life meaning and depth. We are not all the same--and this is a cause for celebration and joy. Understanding the contrast that people bring in all their great variety, is the true path to peace. When we aren't so busy trying to tolerate others, (meaning that we don't really approve of someone else's choices, but we put up with it anyway) but instead, allow them to be themselves in all their uniqueness, then we will find understanding and the love, that we so long for, rushing in like a great tide into our lives.


Understanding brings me joy. What brings you joy today?

19 comments:

  1. Sometimes I wonder what is the purpose to communication when no one bothers to listen anymore. Case in point: I recently sent an email to someone with a quote on it for a computer. I explained that the quote had two monitors and that the counselor should only choose one. The second is for comparison purposes. She wrote back, "why are there two monitors on this quote?" I just smiled and thought "if you had read my email, you'd know that." But no one reads anymore. No one communicates. No one has the time.

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    1. And yet, here we are communicating and understandng one another. :)

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  2. Couldn't agree more with the above comment. In today's world, there is no time to communicate..
    It is very difficult to accept others as they are because we already have a bar set to compare them with.

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    1. It is difficult and I also find that like attracts itself. If I am seeking to understand then I am more frequently understood.

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  3. I love this, Lisa! Years ago when we were first married, we came up with a family mission statement. One of the lines is about communication, and we wrote: "We listen, understand, then talk". I will admit it's been hard to follow this over the years, but I do try. If we don't listen and try to understand where the other person is coming from, then all that's happening is two people shouting over each other, and that's the opposite of productive.

    Thanks for sharing your joy!

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    1. That is an awesome mission statement! Beautiful!!

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  4. Yes, whether I am right or wrong I still feel that strong urge to be understood.

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  5. In my practice, I've found that many of the kids just want someone to listen to them. We don't try to understand them, but expect them to understand and agree with us. How is that fair? But, if I take the time to understand it makes a bigger difference than any pill does.

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  6. Ah yes, the old "I'm going to fix your problems" syndrome. I suffer from that, I must confess.

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  7. Heard and understood, friend. :) xo

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  8. There are a lot of things I would love to change about people, but I need to understand that they are that way for a reason. Just like when somebody wants me to change, but does not understand me. I doubt anyone can ever fully understand anyone else, without being in their shoes, but even attempting to makes all the difference in the world.

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    1. I completely agree. It's like attempting to speak someone else's language--they are so grateful, even if you slaughter it, but we just have to try to understand. :)

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  9. Understanding is a challenge, but taking the time to do it will open you to a world of new experiences.

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  10. Finding YOU - willing to share with all of is - is one of my morning Joys today.
    Thanks!
    Happy A to Z!
    -g-

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  11. I LOVE that quote! Had never heard it before but it is so true. I think another key to clear communication is having an open mind, which you seem to according to your writing. I think we could be friends IRL! :)

    I had a person reply to a craigslist ad I had placed for a juicer. She texted me and asked questions that were all answered in the ad. From price to whether or not all the parts were there--it was all in the ad, but she asked me anyway. I just scratched my head.

    tm

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