Friday, June 7, 2013

My, How Things Have Changed

Do you remember when you were newly in love and all fluttery and dramatic and longing?

Yeah, me too.

It was good.

And now is good too. Today is our anniversary. Mountain Man and I have been married for sixteen years. Like a fine wine, we just get better with age. However, there are some draw backs to being married and getting along so well with one's significant other.

On our first anniversary we went on a backpacking trip to Arches and Canyon Lands National Parks in Utah. We spent a week camping and hiking and (*insert romantic fluttery music here) frolicking through the red rocks, stealing kisses underneath the arches, and getting chased by wanted criminals. (But that's another blog post.)

Anyway, things were all sepia toned and beautiful and not unlike a Jane Austen novel--except completely different--because Janey never wrote about the wild west or married couples that weren't totally annoying (aka Mr. & Mrs. Bennet), unless you think that Mountain Man is annoying, then he will probably stare you down with the same gaze he uses to lure unsuspecting deer to out front yard so he can feed us for the winter. On the other hand, if you think I'm the annoying one, then you're right because you're as crazy as I am if you read this blog or can even follow what the hell's going on with this post.

Annnnnnnnyway, all was ethereal and lovely year one. And now, while things are still good, there is a marked difference in our celebration. It used to be, we'd plan out the big day and make a hullabaloo about it and send each others cards and blah blah blah--but now, we're sixteen years in. If we even remember the day, it's a small miracle. If we plan something, we're freakin' geniuses.

Gift giving has changed too. Our first year of marriage, Mountain Man saved his quarters and bought me a brilliant turquoise necklace that he placed in a copper box he made himself. Yep, he made the box out of copper--because he's super handy like that and not unlike MacGyver in many ways--except he doesn't sport a mullet.

To make it short: It was thoughtful and touching, and I still treasure it.

Tonight was a little different story.
After a long and hectic week for both of us, we decided to steal away to our favorite Thai restaurant. After dinner we went for a walk in a nearby park (which was gorgeous) and then we took the long road home. As we passed a drug store we both yelled, "STOP!"

We ran in, grabbed what we needed and met at the counter.
We both put our items down at the same time--our gifts (you could say) to one another, on this, our sixteenth wedding anniversary: A bottle of Tums and a box of Gas-X.

Happy anniversary, Mountain Man, you are the butter to my bread and the breath to my life, here's to the next sixteen years!

Mountain Man & SquareToothed Girl, happy, married and apparently gas free.

What about you? How have your anniversaries changed over time?

Monday, June 3, 2013

Here and Now

Last week I had a meltdown.
A big one.
It was the kind where you can breathe and you're crying and nashing your teeth and shaking your fists and the sky and everything is wrong and nothing will ever get better and all you want to do is dissapear or punch a baby (no babies were punched) and all you can think is, "Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop."

It was like I was standing on the edge of a back hole and it didn't care if it swallowed me whole. I didn't care if it swallowed me whole. Nothing was right, and nothing ever would be again.

And then...

Quietly, and lightly, the tears stopped.

Peacefully and fully, I could breathe again.

Gently, there was a little light.
And I slept.
And I breathed.

And I haven't figured it all out.

But it's o.k.
It's o.k. because hope is on it's way.

Good things are just around the bend and all I need to do is breathe, let go and find appreciation here and now.

How's your journey going lately? Are good things on the way to you?

“When we are forced to attend to the places where we are most stuck, such as when faced with our anger and fear, we have the perfect opportunity to go to the roots of our attachments. This is why we repeatedly emphasise the need to welcome such experiences, to invite them in, to see them as our path. Normally we may only feel welcoming towards our pleasant experiences, but Buddhist practice asks us to welcome whatever comes up, including the unpleasant and the unwanted, because we understand that only by facing these experiences directly can we become free of their domination. In this way, they no longer dictate who we are.” ~Ezra Bayda, from Beyond Happiness